One month into the New Year & I’ll bet that most of us have already given up or failed with our New Year’s Resolution. Leaving us with negativity and feeling like a huge failure. If you read my last post, you know that for the most part, I gave up on resolutions.
I wanted to make changes before the New Year, so that when that time came around, I could make that, a day to celebrate the new me. The fact is. I failed miserably. I was going to fast, and pray diligently; asking & expecting God to change me. I failed the first week. Not only once, but a few times. And because I gave in to my temptation and broke my fast, I figured why keep trying. It’s too late. God hate’s me and has left me.
It’s been a mess. Crying. Sad and depressed. Confused. Irritated. Feeling alone, & forgotten. Feeling helpless and useless. Failing again for the 1000th time. Mixed with turning 51 & feeling a mid life crisis coming on. I pretty much gave up on the change I was seeking, and as usual, took my anger at myself, out on God for not giving me some kind of instant miracle. (After all, he did deliver me from smoking and drinking literally overnight 1 year and 2 months ago, so I was going to expect it). And that is exactly what Satan wanted to happen. He is very good at deceiving us into believing that it’s God’s fault or that he doesn’t love us or hear us. The fact is that Satan would really like me to give up on God completely. And although I stop praying or reading the bible for a while, Giving up on God just isn’t going to happen. My God loves me regardless of my stupidity and for that I love him, depend on him tremendously, and keep praying for deliverance again and again and again, not only for me, but for family, friends and those I came into contact with that day.
We really should stop focusing on an immediate change, and focus on changes we made over the course of the last year or years. Change comes slowly. Especially if your dealing with an addiction, habit or sin that you have been holding onto for years and possibly decades.
Maybe there wasn’t much or any change. Life? Full of surprises. Things? They come along that are beyond our control. Pain? Love? Hurt? Sickness? Death? Chaos? Good or bad. Life just gets in the way, and there are things that we just can’t control.
God knows how difficult it is. He knows it will take you years or maybe even decades to rid yourself of it. He knows that you will give into it, most likely more then once, and maybe even as I have, a thousand times. I know that as long as we just keep pushing forward with God in our lives that everything will work out for the good. Does it mean that the good will happen in this life? Maybe.. maybe not.
Life just gets in the way. Life can suck big and quite honestly, as another friend put it recently, “Shit Happens” and it may lead to doubt about God. It’s not Gods fault. It’s this world full of crap. Crappy people, crappy situations and the nature of sins fault.
We should also stop trying to live the way we think others want us to live or act. Be yourself. After all, there is no one like us. We are each special, unique, and were made to be just who we are.. Even in all that mess your dealing with. Our mess can be made to be a beautiful thing.
I often wonder…. What is it that those who say they truly love and follow Jesus, makes them turn completely away? or stops people from even beginning that walk in the first place. Perhaps they didn’t have a group of people to study the bible with, or followers that they could rely on in a crisis? Those in my home group are the people that bring me back to reality. Life just is.. and God isn’t a fix it all.
Perhaps it is also the stupid phrases that Christians really need to stop using. They can lead to a continue in our struggle, halt it, and at times turn people completely away from their walk with God. And why? Because they set up unreal expectations and we are told things that quite frankly God never promised and are not comforting in our toughest times of struggle.
It also could be Hypocrisy, and Christians are good at being hypocrites. I know I am, and I’m sorry for that. You must always remember though. Christians, like you are just humans with frailties and bad habits. Being a Christians doesn’t make us better. Unfortunately, Hypocrisy is another reason people may leave their faith & walk away. May I suggest reading Romans 14. Good read that book of Roman’s. To sum up what it says… Worry about yourself and not what others are doing. You have one person to answer to and only one person can judge you.. So get over yourself and stop worrying about whether I am doing what you think is right or wrong. If I am wrong, I will answer to God and not to you.
Whatever we go thru. It’s not really Gods fault. Jesus’ famous last words, crying out to his father, before his death, was, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani”? that is, My God, my God, why hast thou forsaken me?
Isaiah tells us that “he bore our griefs and carried our sorrows; that he was wounded for our transgressions, and bruised for our iniquities; that the chastisement of our peace was laid upon him; that by his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:4-5). He redeemed us from the curse of the law, being made a curse for us (Galatians 3:13). He was made a sin-offering, and He died in our place, on our account, that He might bring us near to God. It was this, doubtless, which caused His intense sufferings. It was the manifestation of God’s hatred of sin, in some way which He has not explained, that Jesus experienced in that terrible hour. It was suffering endured by Him that was due to us, and suffering by which, and by which alone, we can be saved from eternal death.
After completing all of this for us… I am sure he now asks that same phrase of us.
When used out of context (which they usually are) some of the following phrases have halted me, slowed me down or made me angry with God. As they do, most people dealing with a struggle. We need to remember that life just gets in the way. Keep moving forward & have hope that in this world or the next.. All will work out for the good & then and most likely only then, will everything be worked out to be perfect and beautiful.
* That’s not a very Christian thing to do – STOP SAYING IT!!!
Stop already.. Christian’s are just people and people are fallible.. Christian or not. And since Christians are people / human.. they will let you down, just as everyone else does…. just because we are Christian does not mean that we are better or more perfect than anyone else… humans suck. Christian or not. You judge, we judge, you sin, we sin, we all are idiots and need to just get along.
* God won’t give you more than you can bear – REALLY? STOP IT!!!
Not in the Bible.. And really? If someone is confiding in you with their trials, this is not what they need to hear. Its just dumb. I could ask, why to so many things. It is more then I can handle. That’s why I get so angry with you God.. You handle it.. The fact is…… God said that this life wouldn’t be easy. Life on this earth just gets in the way. What I do know. Is that when something I can’t handle leads me to fall or fail, I often come back to God harder then I do in my usual day and I am again more aware that I am just a stupid human who needs to be repentant and who really needs God and a Savior. Our faith is demonstrated by our recognition that we cannot bear the burdens ourselves and trust in the grace of God who bears them with us.
* Hate the sin, but love the sinner – DUMB-DA-DUMB!!!
Not even in the Bible. But Jude 1:22-23 contains a similar idea
Shut up already!!! I guess this one just rubs me the wrong way, as it has been used almost exclusively for the gay community as of late. The word sinner just seems to be synonymous for the homosexual. I have rarely heard it used for any other group or type of person. I guess you could say that this is Tough Love. We should love and show respect for all people, regardless of their acts, but to truly love, we should know that it is not hateful to tell someone that what they are doing is harmful to them.
God works in mysterious ways – True.. but this doesn’t help during a struggle.
It’s all part of Gods plan – STOP IT!!!
This doesn’t help anyone.. Life is not easy. It is full of challenge, of sorrow, and pain. It is full of mystery and things we will struggle to understand. Throughout it all, we will be tempted to ascribe everything to a plan or to fate in order to make us feel better about knowing that someone is in control.
So the one who was raped? molested? suffering from Cancer? The Jews in a Nazi prison? This was his plan? God does not seek to be in control, God seeks for us to be free. And so, God has never promised us that everything would work out. God has never assured us that we would not suffer. God has never said that a life of faith was not without its risks; in fact, Jesus told us that a life of faith may cost us everything. But God has promised to be with us in all the times of our lives. In the times of joy and of sorrow, in celebration and in mourning
Your faith wasn’t strong enough – REALLY NEED TO STOP IT!!!
This is most likely not the truth at all! Most people use this in the case of a loved one not getting healed when prayed for. You could almost go as far to say, “I had faith that I would be healed, it was your lack of faith that failed me”
Have you ever wondered why God doesn’t just heal your diseases or miraculously rid you of cancer? or make that daily pain go away? Nobody knows why except God. Some people get healed and some don’t. For Example. Maybe you have had a lifelong stomach issue, but refuse to give up eating something that causes that pain. Do you think God can heal that? Nope.. stop eating it, you need to heal that. Not everything is up to God.
God wanted them in Heaven – YEA.. THIS HELPS (insert sarcasm)
Oh yes.. that’s why God let them all be shot by some maniac in an elementary school. Not God’s doing by the way. Yes, God wants us all to be with him, but death is not what he wanted for us in this world. Not his original plan.
God is testing you – stand firm! – STOP IT!!!
Don’t worry, God has a plan – STOP IT!!!
As much as this may be true. Please don’t tell me this when I am in a crisis. This one really does turn me away from faith. Every situation cannot be solved by a bible verse or tag line. I don’t think God needs us to explain tragedy’s. He needs us to comfort each other within those tragedies. This world is sin and sin creates tragedy.
* You were blessed with the gift of Singleness – JUST STOP IT!!!
This may be one of the best ways to tick off a single Christian. I don’t think that someone who truly want’s children or a spouse, or even just a partner would agree with this. Oh yes.. they may get used to it, but I doubt that most see it as a blessing. And after reading blog after blog of those out there whom have chosen this, please note the blogs where you complain about it and depressed about it. That is not what God desires.
This also halts that gay person who is told that they need to be single and celibate to be a follower, to be forgiven and to receive salvation. Not true. I shudder at those who use the term SSA (same sex attracted) As if Gay and Christian can’t be used together. The good old Christian stereotype. As if the word Gay implies that you are a pervert or sexually active. Also not true. I am Gay and I am a Christian. To use the term SSA just implies that you think you are better then the rest. That somehow, God favors you above all the rest, and quite frankly, your reasoning is the thing that created all of us to be lost and broken people in the first place. STOP IT!! Your gay… Get over it!!
The Good News!!
By the grace of Jesus I/we have been delivered and saved. Whether you are Gay, Straight, Single or not. Murderer, Kidnapper, Rapist or Adulterer. Married or Divorced. If relying on Jesus. Our sin, our mistakes, our doubts, our pain; is not a salvation issue, but to have victory and freedom in this life we need healing from our wounds and scars. We need to be free from the sins that hold us back.
Despite what people may tell you, Please don’t give up on God. It may not feel like it, but thru your opposition and difficult trials, He hasn’t forsaken nor given up on you. He hasn’t left you, He hasn’t unforgiven you, You haven’t lost your Salvation.
Don’t Give up on him. But if you do, he gave us the free will to do so. But having left him; Does it make anything better? In time, He will make everything beautiful. You have nothing to fear with God on your side. He’s not against you. And should you choose to come back… He will gladly accept you. But completely walk away from him for Good? I shudder at the consequences of that decision.
If there’s a sin that is moving you away from God… or a dumb phrase you were told by someone else. Don’t let it or Satan get the best of you, or get a hold of you. Satan does not have good intentions in mind for you. He will give you an eternity of far worse then what you have ever gone thru in the small frame of time we are here.
After an injury we experience much pain, and the blood that we bleed creates a scar until our bodies miraculously heal themselves. Renewed, as if it never happened. Such is the blood of Jesus. His precious blood streaming all over our pain, our wounds, our scars, our sins and cleansing us back to renewal.
My Mess, your mess, their mess is a message. A message of struggle, a message of hope, and a message of redemption. Hope that someone struggling knows that it can get better. That there are others struggling with the same exact thing. Hope that thru the struggle, we become stronger.
Back to our slow and constant change. Soon enough, we won’t be who we used to be. Most likely, we will never be exactly where we want to be. We will always be a slow work in progress, and that’s the point. Don’t keep seeking out the radical and overnight change, as in a New Year’s resolution. Most of us break them and I seem to remember reading a study that stated that we make the same resolution for almost a decade, before we finally can say we did it.
Take pride and celebrate the small steps. Look at where you were at and where you are now. If you are struggling with something and just starting your walk. That’s awesome.. See? you have something to celebrate as well. You’ve made a choice. That’s a huge step in itself.
May we always pray for a forever faith. To never have doubt and to be filled with wisdom. To have faith and no doubts that God IS always there. Please don’t walk away and forsake him. It may not feel like it, but he is and always will be there. There is the hope that one day, he will return and everything as well as us will be perfect, just as it was meant to be.. So continue to move forward and don’t let others knock you down or off of your course.
Look forward to your future. Pray often and know that you are forgiven and wonderful.
Please help me out and rate this post below. Thanks & God Bless!!
Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.